Friday, 10 October 2008

A Sheep by Any other Name


The lovely Anna at Marmadaisy saw this and thought of me.

It carries a quote from Mark Twain:

..."Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority,
it's time to reform"...

It's been a funny old week for me, one mixed with sadness, regret, relief but also one of renewed vigour, bursting enthusiasm, and good ideas.

Exactly this time last year, I left my perfect job. It was because of the boss. She didn't like the fact that I could be a non-sheep and get away with it. She is yet one more workplace bully being allowed to get away with intimidating and offensive behaviour because the laws in place to protect employees from this are completely inadequate. My employers watched me have a breakdown and did nothing. The bully, typically incompetent, still has her job, morale is at an all time low, and staff turnover is still tellingly high. Those incharge know the problems but do nothing. They know that this woman is universally despised - it's public knowledge that they don't even like her themselves! I was too worn down by the end of it to fight back, and too ill to work at all for 6 months. Sadly, i'm not the only one. I was one of 4 (including my replacement!) who walked out without a job last year. All for the same reason.

Which is why this week, on the anniversary of all that misery, and on the brink of another year ending, I've decided once and for all!
I'd rather be suffocated by my own hand than somebody else's power trip


I'm going to find that "uber" curve if it kills me.


And leave you with another quote, this one from Anais Nin ..


"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"



18 comments:

Lucy Locket-Pocket said...

What an awful sounding woman! I'm sorry she caused you and so many others such misery - but hurray to not being a sheep! Lucy x

the flour loft said...

So very sorry but also angry to hear of this. Bullies should not be able to get away with it. I love the quote by anais nin and i so hope you can now feel able to unfold and blossom.. remember you are beautiful and you have every right to be as happy as the next person.. Autumn is a good time to change and moving forward. Sending you lots of love xx

Kitty said...

Bullies are vile aren't they? I don't know about you, but I look back and think 'how did I put up with that for so long?' and I know that I will never, ever, do it again. It made me ill and unhappy. I'm glad you made your escape, but so sad that you had to experience it in the first place.

The quote from Anais Nin reminds me of 'The Little Prince' by Antoine de Saint Exupéry. If you've read it, you'll know what I mean.

Look after yourself. xxx

Gina said...

I suspect you are about to blossom into something wonderful! Gina x

Marmadaisy said...

What good timing! I remember talking about our respective employment nightmares. I too had to have 6 months off (where I couldn't even answer the door) and it's astounding how strong, good people get so worn down by these idiots.

dottycookie said...

And good for you. I've not had to endure a bullying boss, but a mean spirited postdoc when I was a PhD student had me close to quitting. Not a good feeling.

pebbledash said...

Julia, I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'm sure you're destined for better things. I do like that Anais Nin quote - one of my favourites.
Have a happy weekend.
Diana x

Tiff said...

So sorry you had to go through that. How aweful for you!! I'm so glad you left that place!

jennyflower said...

I too ran away from my work bully, but she was a powerful woman and managed to punish me for it six months later. I can honestly say though it led to a work change that has made me happier than ever. I am still terrified of powerful women. Maybe it's being a Thatcher years child! Self preservation takes courage and I've stopped feeling, finally, like I should have faced her off, she wasn't my battle but HER employers. Big hugs, xxx

twiggypeasticks said...

Good for you, what a witch the woman sounds. I'm glad you've decided to follow your own path. I had a similar experience in 1998 and had what my doctor called a burn out, like you I stopped work and the thought of it freaked me out for ages, thankfully I found a p/t role working for a lovely man with his own counselling service and got back on an even keel. The ironic thing is the company I worked for closed the branch I worked at, as the management alienated everyone and they left. Hmmmm, anyway good luck for the future Julia, it often takes something like this to help us step back and discover what we really want from life
Twiggy x

Firefly Hill said...

I am sorry you had to deal with her...you will be better in the end...stronger and wiser. Why don't you become a big time corset designer and have the last laugh?
You can do it! Dont think about that woman anymore...

annie
p.s. that is my daughter Hannah in the photo...age 12. Grayson age 8...
hope you are enjoying your weekend.

Marmadaisy said...

Isn't it amazing how many people have suffered similar experiences?

JuliaB said...

isnt it just!! I often think the comments section is more interesting than the original post because they are filled with others' stories and experiences too This is a great community! xx

Florence said...

Oh Julia, that sounds hideous...I think walking out was the far braver option that staying, sometimes self-preservation can take a lot of guts.

You quoted my favourite quote, one that I think of often whenever I am trying to find the courage to do something new.

Your corsets are wonderful, your trip to London obviously came at just the right time, and it looks as though things have lined up to make that seem the obvious route forward for you. Happy sewing. x

Lesley said...

I've been in a similar situation but with a co-worker rather than a boss. I left when I could stand the nastiness and the ignorance of management no longer and we moved 100 miles away. She's still there 12 years later and is apparently unchanged.
Such things are so hard at the time but in the end we get stronger and become better for it. They will only ever be the person they are and are to be pitied.

Take care.
xxxx

Melanie Gray Augustin said...

Good on you for the "I'm not playing this game"! That is just awful about that woman, and even worse that she is in a position to make other people's lives a misery. I'm so glad you got out of there and are now ready for better things. Lots of hugs.

Primrose Corner said...

Sadly, you could be writing about me. I'm ready to move forward now but still a bit scared to do so. I'm getting there though. Best wishes...

Helen said...

How awful - it sounds like you were so badly treated. Good for you for having made the decision to step away from all that.
Good luck with that uber curve!