Losing my Head!

Today I am suffering from Nervous Exhaustion!

I have mostly been making soap. Or at least, trying to make soap! The stress of it!! By 4o'clock, my kitchen smelled like an explosion in Lush, and looked like a bomb had hit it!

My main cause of concern (hysteria might be a better word) was the caustic soda element. You have to mix this into water, then it heats up to 200 degrees. The trouble is, one tiny bead of the raw material, or one TINY splash of the lye solution on your skin or anywhere else upon your person - despite extensive protective wear, and it's burn baby burn!!! I was imagining all sorts of "hot spots" - "is that an itch or does it feel hot?.. no it's just a twinge .. but it might be a hot itch ... no it's fine.. what's that rash?.. nerves.. is it hot? .. no it's fine ..." .. argh!! It was an operation and a half!

My first batch seized - which is to say that I over stirred after adding my essential oils and the mixture set in the pan, causing a gloopy porridgy sludge which after referring to several sources I deemed "unfit" and had to throw away ... but where to throw it??? Freshly made soap is not only caustic, but it heats up while curing, so the kitchen bin was out of the question ... the wheely bin? a plastic bag might melt, you can see my train of thought .. in the end, I wrapped it in paper, put it in a bag, then another bag, then an insulated box, then in the dustbin outside. I am still fearing for the bin/dustbin man/eventual destination, and i have guilt!!

Second batch, I learned from my mistakes, didn't stir too much after essential oil addition at the end, and poured into my mould just in the nick of time. Wrapped in a towel and a blanket, I think it's safe. For now.

Thought I might as well try a third batch as my with my state of nerves I thought that if I don't get ontop of this now, I might never try again. So I dug out Jane's chocolate soap recipe and started again. I think it was ok. I had palpitations by the end of the stirring. It's wrapped in two towels now and is hot. That's a good sign.

But I might not sleep tonight.

Lining the moulds was also a challenge as you have to do it in one piece. One set of instructions I found cited "hospital corners" ... WHAT???? I decided to go with my own "cornering a table cloth" theory which worked. Unless you work in catering, that might mean as much to you as "hospital corners" ....

I'm still wondering if there is an escaped bead of caustic soda lurking somewhere about my person or my worktop! But I must get over this fear as I have visions of lovely lemon scented castille soap with dried lemon slices on the top. Oh how I am craving summer.

And then I found this blog which has demonstrations of much safer to use "melt and pour" soap. Now while it's safer, it's not nearly as nice as it's packed with chemicals - the sort of stuff you might buy in Lush infact. It would save alot of hysteria, and I just love the creative possibilities.